And then it clicked...
The role and significance of "aha" moments.
And then it clicked…
💡In the middle of a college teaching class, age 20, where I realized what I no longer wanted in a career and what I wanted instead.
💡In the junior high hallway, where some kid bluntly asked why I walked weird, and I realized for the first time that I looked slightly different to others. It was no longer just a diagnosis on my medical chart.
💡On the footbridge over the creek, with my feet hanging over the edge- my eyes fixed on two dragonflies chasing each other. I was trying to avoid the pull to a new relationship by telling God how committed I was to avoid it. It was probably a little ridiculous how hard I was trying to assure God that I'd stay single. I never felt invited to stay single, I just decided I would so that I could avoid guys at all cost. This still small voice suddenly came to my mind, saying, “Why won't you let me bless you?” This caught me really off guard, me internally sputtering and nervous laughing, “Whatdya mean??” I ended up eventually marrying the guy, so I'm glad I conceded in my resistance.
💡The moment my firstborn was put on my chest- as if I'd known him for all of time, maybe before here or something.
💡At the red light, on my way to meet up, realizing that I loved him back and he should know.
💡In a Milwaukee arena, watching world championships with my mom and grandma- a girls trip. I wasn't old enough yet, but I realized that, despite having a mild physical disability, I'd defeat the odds somehow and be competing at these championships one day.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
My heart has always had the loudest ears. And for a long time, I told myself to ignore its messages, and that women are cursed with softness and intuitive perception, instead of seeing feminity as a gift. With these instances, and many others not listed, there was no unknowing once I knew what my truest self was trying to say. These still are as vivid for me as if they happened last week.
Life is full of options and many roads of possibility, many neutral in their right or wrongness. But now and again, whatever you didn't perceive or have on your radar before then will just click, + you can't go back to who you were before.
I see these instances as lifelong friends. Sometimes what they had for us was temporary, and sometimes you continue down that particular path the rest of your slowly unfolding life. Either way, they were defining. They altered the course of our lives based on following what was true in us to the best of our abilities. I'm not talking about those emotional whims of infatuation or overeagerness. I'm talking, those moments that come and find you and you even need a moment to get your bearings because you weren't prepared for it.
Do you have your own aha moments like this in your back catalog? Those course altering moments that you'll never forget, as if they happened yesterday?
What were they? How'd they change you?
Ponder this for yourself. Share only if you'd like. :)
I'm actually writing about such a moment based on what you inspired in me. I'll tag you when I finish it!