What I asked my clients (and myself) to think about today. Wanna join?

**** I work in a mental health intensive program, where adults receive treatment on different topics and process their lives in group and individual therapy settings. These are some of the (unrelated) questions I asked throughout the day for them to think about. I won't ask them to think about anything I won't think about myself. So, because we all would be better humans with an intensive mental health program from time to time, with or without official diagnoses, I thought I'd invite you to think on some of these things too. ( Don't worry: nothing here needs a trigger warning).

1. The weather.

   “What is something that you haven't noticed and appreciated about the weather today that you still can before the day is over?”

2. Simplicity.

   “Where in your life can you simplify, instead of overcomplicating things, for today?” This can be something physical, like decluttering or picking up dinner, or it can be mental or emotional, like choosing to set a boundary.

3. Codependency.

   “What can you hand back over that isn't your responsibility to fix/rescue in someone else, or to feel guilty about for something that's not your issue, but in fact the other person's issue?

4. Word of the Day: Prudence (the state of being careful in the way you make decisions) “How can you practice prudence today? What might come up where you may need to be increasingly prudent?”

5. “List 3 things that didn't go wrong today.” (examples: I woke up without pain today. I didn't get in a car accident. I didn't forget to call the doctor for a refill, etc).

6. Meticulous Delight.

   “What is something seemingly so ordinary that you take for granted every day, yet someone without said reality would see it as a luxury?” (examples: I woke up and could see and/or hear things around me. I got out of bed and my body temperature was regulated because of the thermostat. I didn't shiver or feel too hot.)

7. Intention-setting. Set the following intention: “For the remainder of the day, I will listen to what my day has to say to me.”

8. Reflection.

   Think about certain doors that were opened to you in the past due to the doors that were closed first. This doesn't mean any door was better or worse than the other. It simply invites gratitude into the good that came and became a reality and a part of your life.

9. Read the following parable titled The Empty Boat by Chuang Tzu:

   He who rules men lives in confusion;

   He who rules men lives in confusion;He who is ruled by men lives in sorrow.

   Yao therefore desired.

   Neither to influence others.

   Nor to be influenced by them.

   The way to get clear of confusion

   And free of sorrow

   Is to live with Tao

   In the land of the great Void.

   If a man is crossing a river

   And an empty boat collides with his own skiff,Even though he be a bad-tempered man

   He will not become very angry.

   But if he sees a man in the boat,

   He will shout at him to steer clear.

   If the shout is not heard, he will shout again,

   And yet again, and begin cursing.

   And all because there is somebody in the boat.

   Yet if the boat were empty.

   He would not be shouting, and not angry.

   If you can empty your own boat

   Crossing the river of the world,

   No one will oppose you,

   No one will seek to harm you.

After you have read this parable, think about what empty boats have come your way today. Try to be mindful of what might be an empty boat moment for you in the remainder of your day.

10. And lastly, Goodwill.

    Try a practice today or tomorrow: where before you encounter anyone, take a few seconds to wish them well in your mind. This can be hoping the fellow drivers on the road have goodness come to them, seeing your coworkers as positively as you can before encountering them, or at least silently wishing them well, etc. You'll be surprised how this shifts how patient and kind you can be, as well as practicing an openness to good over criticism.

Photo by mauro mora on Unsplash

A poem for you:

Miracles - Walt Whitman

Why, who makes much of a miracle?

As to me I know of nothing else but miracles,

Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,

Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,

Or wade with naked feet along the beach just in the edge of the water,

Or stand under trees in the woods,

Or talk by day with any one I love, or sleep in the bed at night with any one I love,

Or sit at table at dinner with the rest,

Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,

Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive of a summer forenoon,

Or animals feeding in the fields,

Or birds, or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,

Or the wonderfulness of the sundown, or of stars shining so quiet and bright,

Or the exquisite delicate thin curve of the new moon in spring;

These with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,

The whole referring, yet each distinct and in its place.

To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,

Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,

Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,

Every foot of the interior swarms with the same.

To me the sea is a continual miracle,

The fishes that swim—the rocks—the motion of the waves—the

ships with men in them,

What stranger miracles are there?

I'm wishing blessings on each of your weeks.

-L